ur gonna b ok zachariah arrived right before the diagnoses first came anxiety second came the psychosis i dont know when it began to surround me riding in the passenger in 5th grade told my dad there's something different bout me never forgot the look on his face. he said "goddammit man I'm sorry I aint mean to give it to you I'm the worst I ain't even think you'd get it till ur older my mother had bad bipolar one second you'll be thinking you're a god one second you'll be thinking you're a burden one minute I can be a better guy wait a minute I can be a better person" wait slow it down life's a lot like traffic when you break down they aint gonna stop n see if you're safe n sound they just getting pissed off and they go around they just getting pissed off here I thought the thought-racing and the pacing was enough to make me go crazy till I made up zachariah, zachariah does not make me do you apologize, just to get a peace of mind? do you apologize, truly so you can provide comfort I need, cause if it's not for me then that makes sense why you've been giving sorry's out for free do you apologize, just to get a peace of mind? do you apologize, truly so you can provide comfort I need, cause if it's not for me then that makes sense why you've been giving sorry's out for free (free) z: ur gonna be okay, tomorrow is another day go a new way lifes too short to be sad tonight you don't gotta listen to the bad advice like grab a vice! one time for being sad at life another time for being bad at life sometimes I be mad I'm right other times I'm glad I'm wrong maybe that's why you make these songs maybe that's why (???) make these songs maybe that's why I make these songs. cleaned my head with medication ended up like bleach not listerine z is everything I wanna be and everything I hate and I'm just stuck in this inbetween

yeahhh turn my headphones up yeahhh I played the piano and then I made this beat then I wrote some lyrics in my phone (its true) yeahhh (I was there) yeahhh meet me up on cloud 9, I don't do the ground beef, I grind teeth, bury 5 feet and rhyme on fine beats, fee fi the giant goes dumb fumbles I preach every week I switch up, ur flow is like assigned seats (sit down) They aint movin I sip booze n move like twisted sick illusions you still try to prove it what I spew already proven they aint got the soul or step, I'm a shoe-in I'm like quentin tarantino with the toes to tap yet my flow is so slow so I don't go too fast, cause I would race ahead, never make amends, maybe make a friend, and make you bend backwards all before you ever made the end of it, shove it up ur ass or love it I never flub it let's make a covenant you'll never not not touch it triple negative, I neck a couple sedatives, they begging me to please em till I choke em like their fetishes (nasty lil moan) I'm not well read I'm not a novelty book, I got em to look a goblin spittin gobbledygook (it's me) take a knee ur in the presence of the anthem i have her hitting high notes like operas (I'm a phantom) (this man said a phantom) and this is the part where I uhhhh I freestyle a hook, cause not enough of my songs have a hook I'm not sorry..... bleh ur the shit I don't like (chief keef sosa) girls who are rich and white (cheap mimosas) better sit tight (3 seat sofa) I don't do the fist fights (I pop like a soda) ur the shit I don't like (chief keef sosa) girls who are rich and white (cheap mimosas) bitch better sit tight (3 seat sofa) I don't do the fist fights (get popped like a soda) rap like I'm smoking rock and on the clock as time is ticky tockin and I'm rockin in my socks and pairs of birkenstocks raising all the stakes like stocks and filling stockings with a shocking little option a glock, get to pop-locking I could make a god stop you chickens getting cock-blocked change flavs never die everlasting gobstop you couldn't get a slot, not even if you got Fox news to snooze hotshot get to steppin Foxtroooot I could do this in my sleep I'm too facetious a beast to beat I take the lead they're on leashes You fruity loops with no labor picked the wrong peaches other rappers break and I don't even have an off season I'm steady treading most are holding noses hoping they float I hope they're a joke they full of talk and probably choking (bleh) they need emergency boats I write with the same pen as Murder, She Wrote Speak into the mic like Karen speaks to managers pissed off, messy, still pushing like a janitor all these amateurs hoping that the flow tight, you know it don't though and that's why ur the shit I d- ur the shit I don't like (chief keef sosa) girls who are rich and white (cheap mimosas) better sit tight (3 seat sofa) I don't do the fist fights (I pop like a soda) ur the shit I don't like (chief keef sosa) girls who are rich and white (cheap mimosas) (bleep) better sit tight (3 seat sofa) I don't do the fist fights (get popped like a soda) (((chief keef sosa, witcho girls who are rich and white mosas, mosas, on ur bodda bip blahhhh sofa, sofa, sodda, sodda on the so-fuck)))

okay sip a couple liquid liver killers till I'm sicker than a fuckin junky and fight you drunken monkey style if I'm feeling lucky eyes googly (googly) I do believe I slay you like you gettin dragged queen after fuckin buffy in other words in the eyes of buddah I'm not about it rich and famous tend to pretend to be Taoist, man I doubt it my brain is split like apartheid, I'm done forcing lines and joining vader on the dark side. My eyes heavy and my brain fried the work of life sucks but it pays fine I could make a train wreck out of middle of mall train rides and end your life on a low note to hear the bass line these haters thirsty they never find the punchline and even if they do they're too impatient so face it you nosey eyesores, afford ears but need a face lift they never see the vision need lasiks psychedelics in the psychward what, what the fuck I need my mind for? what the fuck I need my mind for? psychedelics in the psychward what, what the fuck I need my mind for? live, live, lu-, lu-, lu-, lu-, live, live, live (fuck it) live from the psychward stolen off the typewriter wearing tye dye while doing drive by's in TIE Fighters I'm a skywalker, killing off a youngin nothing, but I'm young and up and coming cause up disruption up in every function, a bonafide bonehead I'll force feed you acid then I'll make you watch the coneheads who's your two favorite rappers cause I'm making sure they both dead I'll call em overrated, run em over with my moped asserting names and keeping baggage burning strains of reefer madness mr rapping apparatus at your service burning these verses inside a furnace getting cremated man do we hate it when your mic's working I'm a plumber how I give her pipe service spitting acid lysergic, why you tripping ric flair (man you really do care), they should call me mr. perfect I been thinking bout taking over earth it aint worth it psychedelics in the psychward what, what the fuck I need my mind for? what the fuck I need my mind for? I mean honestly, what the fuck I need my mind for? psychedelics in the psychward what the, what the fuck I need my mind for? ya'll a bunch of eyesores... fuck u... (in ur fucking slides x5)

ye ye ye (this ones just for fun) (shout out tuhhhhh) (shout out to Andy Warhol) (&&& Van Gooogh) 123 ye 123 ye ye ye ye 12 12 11 feelin like i'm van gogh only half listenin vincent idiotic I been like this since an infant yall could never see me lookin with the minds eye got the hoodie-mask combo (lookin) whipping like I'm shy guy, I find absolutely none of you amusing or your bitches bad and boujee your life a trailer it's not a movie took the lucy just to cross my t's and dot my eyes my philosophies would never even cross your mind cross me if the time is right and you'll be crucifed anyday, anytime, anyway.... I'm lookin like a walking talking steven hawking getting all of your opinions off of twitter must be so exhausting observe myself, and annotate it over beats that sound like manic phases man I really am the greatest no debating it I'm getting bucks, basic bitch stars couldn't rate this shit, nah 5 planets is more fitting I'm orbiting, couldn't digest this in 4 sittings (bar none) 32 leaving em frozen bitch I'm on one (similar to how hit artist, Aubrey Graham, aka Drake, expressed his feelings for being "on one", on the first track of DJ Khaled's 2011 album, "We The Best Forever", called "I'm On One") 3,4 Anyday anytime anyway whatever you say Anyday anytime anyway whatever you say Anyday anytime anyway whatever you say Anyday anytime anyway no poetic, so pathetic, old phonetic rhymes hope for rain, thoughts and prays, hope for better times in some ways we all break beliefs that we had on sunday I must say, money aint gon make itself on monday I'm sure the molly-poppin models feel the love on some days man this 9-5 is fucking up my fung shui caught that rain I was hoping for what a fun day I caught the train and made it one way

this track originally had raps but i like this version better lmao

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah turn it up in my in my headphones yeah, yeah, 19 19 crimes down the gullet he cocks it and pulls it, full of bullshit, if you keep it real, he is phony as fuck see the key to life's to play it like thelonious monk ya gotta dig it to dig, ya dig? 19 crimes down the gullet he cocks it and pulls it, and if you don't give a shit about him, you're shit out of luck see the key to life's to play it like thelonious monk ya gotta dig it to dig, ya dig? yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dyed my hair and got the studs with hoops i'm idiotic who the fuck are you? babygirl with bobcut called me cute spit it like dr seuss hit it and chuck a deuce nah im playin I'm lying I copped her a dinner I been a sinner since in the egg and since kinder garden I hardly contend to be human I'm more like a martian breathing this arson firing at your department, art been better than ever I'm painting these pictures pablo picasso go vicious with visions purple and pink fuck what they think chasing these dreams and chase it with liquor that's the kicker used to be a nobody now I'm just a homebody making moves tho shout to Kusco spit like a llama and too funny you claim to be about getting money got a beer belly in your early 20's I'm like 22 and yet I feel 40 you think you smart cause you watch rick n morty bitch I'm doing 85 bumping gwen stefani fruit of loom to rocking boxers tommy till i crash n burn like a kamikaze cuffing goth girls and emo thotties couldn't kill me with a silver bullet in the birds box no sandra bullock red wine, down the gullet thats 19 19 19 yuh 19 crimes down the gullet he cocks it and pulls it, full of bullshit, if you keep it real, he is phony as fuck see the key to life's to play it like thelonious monk ya gotta dig it to dig, ya dig? 19 crimes down the gullet he cocks it and pulls it, and if you don't give a shit about him, you're shit out of luck see the key to life's to play it like thelonious monk ya gotta dig it to dig, ya dig? (that's one take) (yeah, ya, yahhhhhh) (19, 19, 19, 19) *chance the rapper noise*

(one take this) i pen this letter to my home studio you're my best friend and even better partner u listen and u let my mind departure after hard days so everyday you would let me stay inside anytime I need to hide and you don't ever seem to judge me long as I'm close you keeping me comfy and I thank you for that that that I don't wanna go back back back outside to the world uncertain so inside is where I stay at, at thank you for that, that I don't wanna go back, back outside to the world uncertain so inside is where I stay at, at, at dear studio I don't really know that although you help me if you're really healthy I should go outside I mean really tho I could, I could also avoid human interaction and keep my passion for making art never backspun that and never embarassed never caring about my actions crash, never relax, and you won't ever react and all my windows have blinds and I barely look at the time but I'm gucci like my eyebags looking at the red flags knowing that you'll never leave my side (no) friends said our relationship is toxic but fuck em I got you and got no other options (got no, fuck) that that that I don't wanna go back back back outside to the world uncertain so inside is where I stay at, at thank you for that, that I don't wanna go back, back outside to the world uncertain so inside is where I stay at, at, at (fuck that) ( i sit inside and.... when ur alone for that long... your brain starts to find problems and a lot of those problems aren't even really there. it's hard to be isolated and not contemplate. I cant even open my window anymore I cant I'm a studio rat It's myself, I, and zachariah sitting inside, figuring it out, pondering.)

(if u think being crazy is what made van gogh skilled just know that being crazy is what got that man killed if u think being crazy is what made van gogh skilled just know that being crazy is what got that man killed) yo yo since 5 i have tried to be great but i think that I thought too much and got a late start there's this rhetoric that's been around forever that I hate that you must suffer to make great art. I often wonder if there's any truth about it could I put this album out if I was grounded tho? I highly doubt it. but that's just one of my flaws but If i'm gone there's no art of mine at all. so if u think being crazy is what made van gogh skilled just know that being crazy is what got that man killed if u think being crazy is what made van gogh skilled just know that being crazy is what got that man killed i told em i told em doctor, doctor, nurse z has gotten worse this is not the first time nor is it the last so i ask, that you help me out it hurts I wanna feel the earth, I wanna feel my worth I suffer from the birth of Zachariah's curse. They felt I needed meds my stomach and my head was all I ever felt instead a sick twisted irony I felt the least alive but honestly I felt kinda free close to nothing at all I couldve free falled off the tallest building of all and felt the same way I felt when watching the sun set an inbetween of apathy, tired, and upset. so if u think being crazy is what made van gogh skilled just know that being crazy is what got that man killed if u think being crazy is what made van gogh skilled just know that being crazy is what got that man killed z: can I talk to em? z pain is your vehicle for greatness don't crash it your abstract, jazz rap, crap has made you batshit and that don't make you great matter facts for starters depression made making art a thousand times harder excessively obsessive no food or sleep until your snares are at perfection stop, get to eating sleep, get your dreams in mental illness is not synonymous with genius whether it's in your genes or whether you lost hope you don't get to choose what the world finds dope, so put it out as if a single soul deserves it you might find the imperfections make em think it's perfect if these walls could talk you would give em a fake laugh and claim that you do not have any baggage just know that what you make, only you can create I promise that you're anything but average <3

let me out let me out let me out let me out, every every time I find a way out I just find another way back in let me out, let me out let me let me out let me let me out out let me let me out let me let me out let me out let me let me out let me let me out let me let me out yo cousin got a soundcloud? none of that shit new to me pulling out the tommy like quit the tomfoolery nothing you could do to me or who believes in what could make me give a fuck would, you believe that I'm bored so I'm stacking bread and cheese charcuterie? how rude of me I'm idiotic, I aint catch ya name it don't even matter you comparing and complaining and just blaming everything on everything but you, fuck you, cut to, me doing, what I, do best, no flex, or else, hoes get stressed out, stretched out, bo flex, woah lets pause for a second and just find a common factor you act out even though I'm the actor you want beef? we can take it out to pasture and pass all the bullshit over with a tractor salty as fuck messing with the wrong cracker I doubt have a doubt that none of these rappers have a thing figured out I'm stuck in my head and stuck putting it out so fuck it lemme lemme out, idiotic let me out, let me out let me let me out let me let me out out let me let me out let me let me out idiotic

lurrrics: I could run away and never tell my fears maybe some day, I won’t wanna disappear I can’t keep my head clear … we could run away and never tell our fears maybe some day, we won’t wanna disappear I can’t keep my head clear (too much clutter) voice in my head keeping him close, I been isolated, who gon tell me how to cope, uh idiotic doesn’t know, uh shocker shocker, eyes low uh …If I go insane, it won’t go in vain self-medicated, off the novacane please keep me under as I sit and wonder.. under the stars the same routine I’m making my art and making believe, I spin, I spend, I cook and clean all in attempt to know what it means, but Loving and living is free except for the food that’s a dollar or 3 That and the lease now you want peace? not in the least, you heard it from me Sipping my tea Looking at skies loosen yo tie, do some tai chi wish I was fine, but I would be lying, I do this for nieces and family tree …artist type I can’t verbalize I just stutter …all my thoughts are just like my room, full of clutter , life is just waiting till summer, life is just loving and suffering seeing what we can discover, an angel in some and a beast in another these pallets of color are plenty for others, then others get greedy and ask for another (so fuck it I’m done) … where do you hide? (hide) … where do you run? (run) … where do I find my conclusions? … not in learning institutions … not myself I been a nuisance … not in others, too confusing … what am I, doing? … what am I, doing? … what am I, doing? … what am I? (instrumental break) I could run away and never tell my fears maybe some day, I won’t wanna disappear I can’t keep my head clear … we could run away and never tell our fears maybe some day, we won’t wanna disappear I can’t keep my head clear (too much clutter) credits

Sorry if you lost me My attention span has been killing them off softly Should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee? should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee? I'm so sorry if you lost me My attention span has been killing them off softly Should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee? should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee? please VERSE: Weigh your options, get the contents, you keep in stock then, sip the daily concoction Wake up weigh your options again find balance, the grounds to water ratio, weighing next to nothing body only full of toxins, , The starving artist isn’t pretty when you find him, I promise, he’s passive in passing, but to himself he’s painfully honest, and lately too nice, swallow pride like shoenice need a new prescription, my pupils moving I’m losing sight , self proclaiming doofus, they told me to keep it moving now I keep it moving, I’m moving I’m always pacing.. that ADHD diagnosis waiting I’m impatient I’m just another human remembering my placement …on this earth, tell em they should know they worth (how fucking hypocritical, how and in what universe, are you the center, you aint better, are you making cheddar?) no. only rap to mitigate imposter syn-drome. ((Chorus)) Sorry if you lost me My attention span has been killing them off softly Should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee, I'm so sorry if you lost me My attention span has been killing them off softly Should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee should I kill myself or should I have a cup of coffee please ((VERSE 2)) .... Please hold my head when it's heavy, I told my Self that I'm ready, and in an effort to make me a comma, I make these songs that are too alarming for momma to listen to when I'm bothered What good is honesty then? If I'm Surrounded by friends, but feeling lonely don't end, is every Time that I smile another time I pretend? (I guess) I send regards if what I pen does offend, but if my pen is not a weapon, then swords will be swung instead… sippin it slow, then way too quick, I keep my head way too sick, another day wasted, and way too lit, need a vacation, my brain fried, but at the Same time, I need to make time, but I don't Have time so I waste more, Pace back and then pace forth (Pace back and then pace forth) ... and I'm still sorry if you lost me ... but my attention span has been fucking me up softly The pot is full, the Kettles black, back the fuck up off me End of day I'm pouring up the blackest cup of coffee (Bridge) Too much coffee in the pot, and Too much pot will keep me coughing (x4) (Final Verse/Outro) The doctor told me exercise my mind like my Noggin is joggin' Life's a slippery slope I'm just riding in Toboggans, If I go bananas I'm gon make it a Bonanza, if I'm on a downward spiral I might as well throw my hands up ... and what's a good ol manic phase without a crash reaction Acting like it's just a Saturday.. sit and wonder all my life, I wonder what it cost me Another constant, another vice...another cup of coffee please thank you.